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We've been friends for more than 20 years, who has faced and conquered many hardships, and I respect her for that. Yet, she's often blindsided in relationships. Her spouse walked away, which came as an unexpected event. A lot of close acquaintances drifted away then, as they were only interested in the spouse. She was stunned by her. She made greater energy to be my friend, and must have understood better the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

In the time since, quite a few in her circle have disappeared without her being certain of the reason. Her last employer suddenly changed toward her, although she was an excellent employee, her exit happened unaware of what had changed.

How Things Stand Now

In recent times, we have each left the workforce so we're spending frequent meetups, but I am finding the part I play between us is to listen. I start discussion points only for her to redirect the talk toward things she cares about. In terms of politics, she expresses unyielding views. I attempt to suggest factchecking and different perspectives.

She has been arranging a holiday to a country I know well on several occasions and resided in for a while. I attempted to share personal experiences, but this was not welcomed. She essentially just desired my agreement with her choices. I recently returned from four weeks in that place she is eager to reconnect, yet I'm reluctant.

Weighing the Options

I am unwilling in this role who abandons suddenly without a word, yet I doubt she will ever comprehend the impact of her actions on my self-esteem. Currently, I find myself in avoidance mode. What's the best step?

Potential Solutions

One option is to walk away, however, that approach is rarely the peaceful resolution that we desire. But confrontation aiming for working things out takes courage and readiness for each of you.

Therapists recommend using a practical approach to handling disagreements:

"The first step requires explaining the usual pattern during your discussions. This needs to be as factual as possible like exactly what occurs. Next is to tell how this makes you feel. This allows for no argument here. Emotions belong to you, after all. The third step is to question how the two of you going to change the interaction of your friendship."

Remember she too holds perspectives, meaning you must to be prepared to listen to her. An approach that works is to say to the other person:

"Now you talk while I will listen without interrupting for half an hour."

This can be successful to encourage understanding.

Closing Considerations

This person might reject your concerns, for those who hold onto a deep-seated story: they have a version regarding their experiences they won't let go of since their identity relies on it and it represents they've known. This is difficult as there is no easy route with these people, mere obstacles. Yet she could initially present like this before reflecting about what you've said. If you don't achieve a resolution, you'll have peace from having been honest with her.