Failing to find a fantastic time at university? You are not the only one.
Robert Medhurst spent most of his first week at university looking at social media, seeing content about peers enjoying evenings out.
"I stayed indoors," Robert explains, characterizing that period as the most isolated period of his life.
The people he lived with seldom socialized, and his program didn't seem particularly social.
Despite putting himself out there by attending trial events for different clubs, he was unable to locate people he connected with.
"I began losing my confidence," he says. "I felt like people didn't want to be friends with me, or they didn't appreciate me."
Digital Platform Contrasts
At first, Robert didn't plan of going to university and had a job offer for post-secondary education.
But then he watched his acquaintances living it up as college students online.
"When you've got to get up for work on Thursday at 9:00 and you see someone's been out on Wednesday night, you do start thinking others have it better," Robert says.
College Anticipations
Television programs and social media can romanticize the concept of university living.
Numerous students begin university with great anticipations for what they think could be the greatest period of their lives.
Some students begin their studies with "rose-tinted glasses," says a counselling manager.
Survey Findings
- According to research of first-year attendees early on, students' biggest concern was fitting in and feeling included
- Additional research by market research agencies, 17% of students said they were without companions at university
- Over one-third reported they worried daily or weekly about building relationships
Individual Stories
A different attendee's TikTok feed was populated with clips of girls having fun while sharing accommodation in student houses.
Yet when she transferred from her hometown to university to pursue media studies, she found orientation period "intense" because of how much alcohol it involved.
She abstains from alcohol and had avoided party scenes before.
"I did spend much of orientation within my living space," she says. "I simply experienced a bit alienated."
Mental Health Considerations
In a 2025 survey of more than 10,000 undergraduate students, nearly one-third reported they thought about dropping out.
The most common reason was emotional state, followed by monetary worries.
"Worry regarding these various aspects is very widespread, and typical," explains a support specialist.
Discovering Answers
With time, all three individuals gradually adjusted and built connections.
Alisha made friends during classes and using online platforms, while Christina felt happier when she could to relocate with companions.
Helpful Recommendations
In his case, presently older and in his last year, it was engaging in performance groups and getting a part-time job that helped him make friends.
The suggested approach to first-year students experiencing connection challenges is to just "get out of your room" and go to club and society taster events.
"Subsequent to periods of consistently showing up, others notice your presence," he mentions, "you notice their presence, and relationships start developing."